2023 B1G ATS: Week 5


Will Penn State conduct a (blocking) clinic in Evanston?

Week 5 is here bringing with it a few questions. Will September Maryland get one more win before September goes away? Will Illinois and/or Minnesota find their offenses? Will Iowa beat the Ferentz Line against Michigan State? Will wunderkind quarterback Drew Allar make it into the fourth quarter before James Franklin starts emptying his bench?

A few questions were answered with the Week 4 results. There were a few who correctly figured that the B1G would go 0-for-Group of 5 in covering the points. And a couple of folks realized that the trip to Evanston would be the annual game where everything's fucked up for Minnesota. Here's where things stand after week 4, and welcome aboard Buckeyes2014.


Only six games are offered up this week. Rutgers faces off against FCS Wagner; while both Wisconsin and Ohio State take on bye. And now for the last question. Can I get my head out of my ass and make some decent picks? Here goes nothing:

Michigan at Nebraska (+18.5): my pick - Harbaugh! I have no fucking clue how to pick this one (and in other breaking news, water is wet!). Michigan is 0-for-2023 against the spread. Nebraska's 2-2, but has this pesky habit of looking good until that brain fart or two pulls defeat from the jaws of victory. So, I'll pick the team not starting its backup quarterback. Michigan wins and covers.

Indiana at Maryland (-14): my pick - IU. Indiana versus Maryland has been a sneaky-good series, with the last 6 non-COVID games being decided by an average of 4.2 points. This will be another close one as Indiana has just enough defense to hang around, and just enough offense to put up points on the Maryland defense. IU catches Maryland looking ahead to next week's trip to Columbus and beats the 2-touchdown spread.

Penn State at Northwestern (+26): my pick - Penn State. Over the next 3 weeks, Penn State's best game will be an inter-squad scrimmage during their bye; as they get jTarpwestern in Evanston and UMass in Happy Valley before treking to Columbus on October 21. The Wildcats will get a score or two early to give their fans hope; then the Nittany Lions will score a bunch of points to win and cover the spread.

Michigan State at Iowa (-11): my pick - Iowa. My son will be attending this game; one that will feature a lot of defense, a lot of punts, and just enough offense for Iowa to eek out both a straight-up and ATS win (or better yet, earns a 17-6 push). As a consolation prize, MAMU will manage to keep the Hawkeyes below the Ferentz Line.

Illinois at Purdue (-1.5): my pick - Illinois. Just like Minnesota at jTarpwestern last week, somebody has to not lose this game. The Illini will possess the ball for the better part of 40 minutes and pull away in the second half, avenging last season's disappointing 31-24 loss that cost Illinois the Big Ten West.

Louisiana at Minnesota (-9.5): my pick - Lose-E-Anna. Billy Napier is no longer in Lafayette, taking some of the Ragin' out of the Cajuns. That said, a lot of words come to mind when thinking of the Minnesota offense: ragin' isn't one of them. Indiana, Nebraska, and Illinois couldn't cover the points against Group of 5 teams last week, and Minnesota's not gonna this week.

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