Sunday Morning Coming Down // Week 4

F*** Notre Dame, 87 years and counting

By GoForThree Sep 24, 2023, 6:21am CDT

Ten B1G Things

The last time Notre Dame beat Ohio State, Jesse Owens was wearing fresh Olympic gold
Notre Dame had scored 40+ points per game and in every quarter until being held scoreless through 41 minutes last night
Notre Dame fans talked for weeks about 9th-year QB Sam Hartman’s prowess only to see him outperformed by 4-game starter Kyle McCord
Purdue claims another victim in the form of Chez Mellusi’s leg
Harbaugh returned from persecution just in time to turn 2023 Michigan into 2022 Michigan
If you wondered what happened to Tom Herman after Texas, he’s getting stuffed by Illinois’ defense
MAMU’s rapid unscheduled disassembly continues with a 5-turnover loss against Maryland
Maryland’s win marked their first victory in East Lansing since 1950
After Oregon blasted Colorado and Northwestern beat Minnesota, the transitive property is particularly unkind to Nebraska at the moment
This marks the first week in which every B1G team is above the Ferentz line
Penn State had the ball for 42 minutes, which from an Iowa perspective is...not ideal
Indiana allowed more points to Akron than to Ohio State or Louisville
I didn’t have “Northwestern passes for 400 yds” on my B1G bingo card
Minnesota blew a three touchdown lead

The Rundown

Ohio State at Notre Dame | One for the ages, 17-14

GF3: Lou Holtz claimed Sam Hartman wouldn’t even get his jersey dirty this year, only to see him dropped by JTT in what have been the game’s most critical play. Kyle McCord, while not perfect, showed up huge to lead a game-winning drive that put a stake straight through the heart of every Irish fan. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch. The brief euphoria of another victory of Notre Dame aside (a given until proven otherwise) Day’s playcalling remains a mystery. 4th & less than a yard...and he calls a jet sweep with Egbuka? Who do I have to pay to get him to just let Hartline call the offense? I’ll pass the hat.

Rutgers at Michigan | Return of the Big Mac, 31-7

Brian Gillis: Michigan’s season opener against Rutgers looked a lot like its non-con season. A dominant performance on defense. A rather pedestrian, somewhat disjointed performance on offense. But still good enough to secure a 31-7 victory. On to week five.

RMB: The first half was pretty damned frustrating. Rutgers only scored 7 in the first half, but there were way too many free yards given. Rod Moore returned for one series and went out again. This is a problem. Mason Graham (arguably the best player on the defense) didn’t play. That’s a bigger problem. On offense, Blue got OT Hinton back from injury and that’s actually a problem. How this guy keeps getting playing time, I will never understand. He must have photos of Harbaugh with a goat or something. McCarthy was up and down, but was good enough. Corum looks good. Edwards continues to look utterly lost. We did finally see some of that “second half team” they showed last year, but right now this team is nowhere close to 2022 Michigan.

RUReady4Brazil: Rutgers was outplayed but showed a pulse for most of the game. No breaks went their way and not going to beat Michigan or even stay close without a little luck. Most encouraging is that Wimsatt was better than anyone expected which bodes well for the future. Michigans defensive front is just so disciplined, they didn’t even need to stack the box with safeties.

Iowa at Penn State | Franklin sends Ferentz to a new low, 31-0

misdreavus79: Ah, feels nice. Just sucking the life out of a team that deserved having the life sucked out of them. The best part is the ironic way in which it all went down. Turnovers and special teams, the bread and butter of how Iowa pulls wins out of their ass time after time, were its undoing in this game. And the Vautned Iowa offense generated zero turnovers of their own, as Drew Allar completed 68 percent of his passes for four touchdowns. This one’s for you, Sean!

Creighton: I don’t even know what to say that I haven’t already said before. We all know that BF is the worst offensive coordinator in the county, perhaps in recorded history, but before Iowa brought George Barnett in as OL coach we were a lineman factory. In the three seasons since the OL has morphed into a turnstile. Watch literally any offensive snap from that game and ask yourself if Iowa could block high schoolers.

This is the absolute best effort the Kirk/Brian/George combo can muster. Everyone blamed the QB so they went out and got a shiny new one. Then they gave him receivers - including his roommate and a transfer from OSU. Everything they wished for they got and this... THIS is the result.

Interim athletic director Beth Goetz could, as Brian’s direct supervisor due to nepotism rules preventing Kirk from holding the title, fire Brian tomorrow and instantly achieve sainthood within the state of Iowa.

When we found out Cade McNamara was coming to Iowa, a friend in Michigan asked me how excited I was. I told him not even a little bit because the fact that Cade would agree to put himself in this situation when a player of his profile could go anywhere else was a massive red flag for profoundly bad judgement. Anyway, I don’t think we’re getting to 325 points.

FAU at Illinois | Bert bounces back barely, 23-17

AlmaOtter: It’s a win. The offense remains disjointed and lacking creativity (except for the flea flicker TD pass by Altmeyer in the first half). The offensive line is just bad. The defense had moments, but still gave up 350 yards to Florida Atlantic. The season begins next week in West Lafayette. Let’s bring the Cannon home and win the West.

He was a high school QB: Just like the Toledo game, Illinois had a game where the stats were lopsided, but mistakes nearly cost them the W. The difference between Bert and the last 3 decades of Illinois coaches is that we still managed to win unlike San Jose State in 2002 or Fresno State in 09 or countless other depressing examples. Before today, Illinois had the 3rd hardest schedule in the country, but one of the easiest remaining schedules of any P5 team. I still think this team pulls it together eventually, but it needs to happen pretty soon.

thumpasaurus: The illini could go 1-5 against the division, or they could go 6-0. There’s no in between.

Maryland at Michigan State | Terps dismantle the House of Tucker, 31-9

Larry31: On Maryland: Just like never picking a Walt Bell offense to cover, NEVER be disappointed in a win against a conference opponent on the road. 31-9? More than doubling the point spread? I’m good, even though MSU did a olot of things to help Maryland. Bad Maryland: Getting outgained by MSU 376 yds to 362 yds. and Taulia throwing an interception in MSU’s end zone. That’s twice this year. Maryland can’t afford to throw away points like that against a schedule that will soon get much more difficult. Good Maryland: Five turnovers, while only giving up the aforementioned stupid Taulia pick. That was the difference in the game. Going up 21-0 to start the game was also good. BTW: Can anyone explain to me why #43 from MSU was not called or ejected for one of the clearest, seemingly most textbook examples of targeting on Taulia? Helmet crown to back of Taulia’s helmet while Taulia was being tackled by another player and out bounds? WTF!?!

Louisiana Tech at Nebraska | Huskers take cajuns flavortown, 28-14

BigRedTwice: That was a very fun Saturday! I went to the Nebraska game, where it went from slightly chilly and cloudy, to sunny, cloudless, and hot, to a weather delay from a thunderstorm, all in the space of a game. Long may the Midwest reign.

The Huskers looked meh. They negated not one, but TWO of their own touchdowns via penalties, so that was not ideal. But they also won, and committed zero turnovers, so I will limit my grumping.

I’ll also add that I thoroughly enjoyed the night slate. Allllllllllllll the lols for Iowa. Except for the ones we’re saving for Minnesota, because... what was that? Just a masterpiece of an evening for the B1G West. Also, enjoyed you too, Indiana— congrats on ending the MAC’s 16-year streak of beating a Big Ten team in the most dramatic fashion.

Wisconsin at Purdue | Badgers win a pyrrhic victory, 38-17

Kind of...(Chris): It’s so cool when your team plays on Friday night and wins, and then your division implodes on Saturday night. Watching last night’s games I felt like the Joker watching (a really shabby version of) Gotham burn. Wisconsin is in sole possession of 1st in the West, and they’ve played one conference game. #EmbracetheChaos

Oh, the game? Right? UW won by 21 and the last time Purdue had the ball with a chance to tie or take the lead was midway through the first quarter. Why does the glass feel half empty (besides that Purdue might not be very good)? Well, the defense spent a fair amount of the second half (basically the entire 3rd quarter) getting gashed. Mike Tressel appears to have a lot more confidence in the ability of his corners to cover man-to-man than seems reasonable. The offense committed at least a half dozen false starts. Chez Mellusi’s season is over. And Tanner Mordecai loves taking risks on deep outs so much that I think Iowa has already recorded a pick-six. Unless, that is, the newfound QB rushing part of the offense has him out for the season with injury before said Iowa game. On the plus side, the offense moved the ball consistently last night. The defense was very good early and pretty good late. Hunter Wohler is a stud. And the overall trajectory does seem positive, especially if you set aside the most over-enthusiastic preseason projections.

Bye week next week is well-timed. Badgers have played four games against four up-tempo teams. Next three games are Rutgers, Iowa, @Illinois. Time to get ready for rock fights.

BoilerUp89: No. - BU89 with 6:10 remaining in the 1st quarter

Minnesota at Northwestern | Cats come back with OT magic, 37-34

LPW: Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever give up..../mic drop. The Cardiac ‘Cats are back!!! AHAHAHAHAHA. We needed a division and conference win in the worst way after, well, we’ve been through a few things in Evanston.Don’t overlook us. Don’t count us out. We’ve got nothing to lose.

MNW: We were at a wedding until 9, then went to my (Gopher-loving) folks’ place to pick up the kiddo. Got there and started conversing with my dad just as Northwestern made it 31-17. Whatever, we chuckled, went back to catching up. They scored again. My dad started muttering to himself. I shifted the topic to our local high school’s team. The Gophers went three-and-out. Curse words slipped into his responses. The ‘Cats punted. Curse words slipped into my responses.

And then Minnesota punted one last time.

And OHHHHH did they ever punt.

With my infant daughter sleeping in the next room, my dad lost his goddamn mind. He threw his hat across the room. He swore. My wife, saint that she is, does not understand what touchbacks on punts are and was asking my dad for clarification. No look I could shoot her would stop her. When Northwestern scored to sent into overtime, I announced we would wake the kiddo and leave. It’s mainly because I was mad David Braun didn’t go for two, but also the kid needed to sleep and we were all tired, too. Plus, if the unthinkable happened, I didn’t want to be there.

I did, of course, tune in to Mike Grimm’s call on Gopher sports radio. Pumped my fist, shouted yes, and nearly jerked the car into the next lane of traffic.

And then my wife punched me and asked what had happened. A pants-shitting of beautifully epic proportions, that’s what. In my lifetime I’ve watched Tim Brewster go for two and fail to give Northwestern a 49-48 win in OT, I’ve watched Brendan Smith all-but-walk the Gophers off with a pick-six, I’ve watched Sam Simmons shock ol’ Grinnin’ Glen in the Dome...

...but I’ve never seen as chickenshit a loser as PJ Fleck today. Gopher football does similar things to its coaches as the American presidency does to men, but my god did that goober let it totally envelop him today.

It was classically Minnesota, and I salute PJ for truly becoming One Of Us.

There is nothing to be gleaned from this game other than the Gophers’ neverending ineptitude when the bright lights get even a little toasty. Ben Bryant is a fine QB who often needs time to pass, but he’s got a fearsome threesome in Henning, Kirtz, and Johnson. Porter is a gamer. This team is still bad, but they’re not winless in the Big Ten. Cheers to you, Minnesota.

WSR: Jesus fucking Christ. Northwestern is a bad football team, and we let them win by playing like absolute shit for the entire 2nd half. Completely gutless playcalling from Harbaugh under Fleck’s direction. Pathetic and unacceptable to lose to that program.

21-0 and 31-10 leads get pissed away because he’s a goddamn coward when it’s time to ice a game. Punted TWICE in Northwestern territory. Fucking Ferentzball bullshit.

Akron at Indiana | Hoosiers survive MACtion in 4OTs, 29-27

BuffKomodo: Indiana cancelled a series with Louisville because it needed more non-con wins. It then went out and lost to Akron. In what was the worst display of football I’ve seen from Indiana since 2011, the Indiana football season is complete. Don’t bother following it. Don’t bother watching it. Basketball season starts in a little over a month.

If Allen or Bell or both don’t get fired after this shit, then the administration deserves to be absolutely left to rot for the next 15 months because your major revenue sport is horrid.

Wait, what’s that? Indiana won? Well…nothing changes in my statement. If this doesn’t put you out on this regime, nothing is going to.