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Week 2 College Football Schedule: Don’t Watch This; Watch That

Yo, I heard you like potatoes...

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NCAA Football: Potato Bowl-Central Michigan vs Wyoming Brian Losness-USA TODAY Sports

Part of the ethos behind Don’t Watch This; Watch That is celebrating all that makes college football weird—the pageantry, the rivalries, the willingness to burn down your neighbor’s house because they flew a different team’s flag on gameday oh no I’ve said too much.

The Dr. Pepper “Fansville”, if you will, without the saccharine and obviously-SEC-oriented tone of that campaign. It just, you know, means more.

But that extends to more than transfer portals and multinational corporate sponsorships—dig deeper than Division 1 athletics, and you find a world of those same blind-hatred rivalries and those quirkily-named bowl games, just...on a smaller scale. That doesn’t, of course, make them anything less meaningful—it doesn’t, in fact, mean less.

If you’re reading things in this dumb corner of the world, now, you get that ethos. If you’ve stumbled upon it, welcome.

BRT’s wonderful Potato Power Poll this week got me thinking, and as I scanned the D-II and D-III schedules for games worth watching this week, I stumbled upon the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point (the Pointers), hosting nearby St. Norbert College (the Green Knights) in the delightfully-named Spud Bowl.

While the Spud Bowl is a moving target and doesn’t feature an annual opponent, it’s a day where Stevens Point goes all-in on the potato-producing identity of the region—after Oregon and Idaho, Wisconsin produces the most potatoes in America.

The first Spud Bowl, hosted by UW-Stevens Point against Whitewater in 1987—as Wisconsin farmers found themselves in the throes of the Farm Crisis—included a pregame “Spuds and Suds” picnic, a halftime show featuring a potato sack race and an aerial flyover, and a postgame “Fifth Quarter” party. Sponsored by the Stevens Point-area Chamber of Commerce and local businesses and radio stations, the Spud Bowl’s in its 36th iteration this weekend.

Over 5,000 people turned out as the Pointers drove 65 yards in 1:08, down 23-20, to score the game-winning touchdown with just 16 seconds left. UWSP quarterback Kirk Baumgartner—from Colby, WI—who had already thrown four interceptions on the day, found a 6’7”, 230-pound tight end for 18 yards. A few passes later, Baumgartner hit split end Steve Twet from 23 yards out. Paydirt. PAT missed, but Pointers win, 26-23.

Don Friday (photo by Doug Wojcik), “Last-minute heroics give Pointers dramatic 26-23 win,” Stevens Point Journal, September 21, 1987, pp. 15-16.

The WIAC and other D-III conferences are uneven on rivalry trophy distribution: in Wisconsin, only UW-Eau Claire and hated UW-Stout play for the I-94 Trophy. But in Minnesota you could see St. John’s and St. Thomas battle for the Holy Grail until the Tommies bolted for Division I (FCS), Hamline and Macalester play, like Valley City and Jamestown, for a Paint Bucket, or Concordia-Moorhead and St. Olaf battle as only Norwegians can, in the Lefse Bowl for The Troll Trophy. In Michigan, Hope and Kalamazoo nod to their Dutch heritage with the Wooden Shoes Trophy, while in Indiana DePauw and Wabash play for the Monon Bell Trophy. On, and on, and on they go.

Those are the kinds of rivalries—the dumb, the local, the vitally-important to some subset of people—that keep me coming back for more, even as the commercials get longer and the actual gameplay gets shorter.

You can have your Texas-Alabama, I’ll take my Spuds and Lefse to stay.

Don’t Watch This

A whole bunch of D-II games [see schedule]

Detroit Lions at Kansas City Chiefs [7:20pm, NBC]

Watch That

Murray State Racers at Louisville Cardinals

6:30pm | ACCN | Lhvl -40.5 | O/U 54

#3 Pittsburg State Gorillas at Fort Hays State Tigers

7pm | MIAA Network

US Open (Women’s Singles)

#6 Coco Gauff vs. #10 Karolina Muchova [6pm, ESPN2]
#17 Madison Keys vs. #2 Aryna Sabalenka [7:30pm, ESPN2]

You realize you’re scraping the bottom of the barrel and desperately need help when you’re recommending a Murray State-Louisville game. There’s redemptive value to Pittsburg State-Fort Hays State—there’s little to go on with Louisville, which appears to be one of the only schools in Kentucky/Tennessee with which Murray State does not have a rivalry.

Coco Gauff is exciting, and Aryna Sabalenka terrifies me to my very core.

Also, uh...good luck to the Racers in their first year in the Missouri Valley for football.


Thursday Night! I’m hosting trivia, you’re watching...

This poll is closed

  • 1%
    Murray State-Lhvl
    (2 votes)
  • 2%
    Pittsburg-Fort Hays? Why not?!
    (4 votes)
  • 11%
    US Open
    (15 votes)
  • 55%
    (76 votes)
  • 28%
    Something else entirely
    (39 votes)
136 votes total Vote Now

Don’t Watch This

Indiana State Sycamores at Indiana Hoosiers [6pm, BTN]
Stony Brook Seawolves at Rhode Island Rams [6pm, FloFootball]

{CFL} Hamilton Tiger-Cats at Ottawa REDBLACKS [6:30pm, CBSSN]
Again, a bunch of D-II and D-III games on the schedule below

{CPL} York at Valour [6pm, FS2]

Watch That

Illinois Fighting Illini at Kansas Jayhawks

6:30pm | ESPN2 | Kansas -3 | O/U 58

SUNY Maritime Privateers at Mass. Maritime Buccaneers

6pm | Boxcast | THE CHOWDER BOWL


That’s the Chowder Bowl. D-III teams SUNY Maritime and Massachusetts Maritime compete for it. For players, fans, and future servicemembers from those schools? That bowl is IT. Last year I watched it on a bad YouTube stream with my newborn child in my arms. Just think about those traditions you’re passing on.

(also Illinois-Kansas is just going to be delightful.)


Tonight’s the night / It’s gonna be alright / ‘cause I love...

This poll is closed

  • 67%
    Illinois-Kansas, ain’t nobody gonna stop us now
    (95 votes)
  • 6%
    Indiana State-Indiana
    (9 votes)
  • 7%
    (10 votes)
  • 19%
    Something else.
    (27 votes)
141 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Morning
Don’t Watch This

Vanderbilt Commodores at Wake Forest Demon Deacons (-10, O/U 56) [10am, ACCN]
Balls Tate Robotbirds at #1 Georgia Bulldogs (-42, O/U 52) [11am, SECN]
Youngstown State Penguins at #5 Ohio State Buckeyes [11am, BTN]
Delaware Fightin’ Blue Hens at #7 Penn State Nittany Lions [11am, Peacock]
#10 Notre Dame Fighting Irish (-7.5, O/u 51) at NC State Wolfpack [11am, ABC]
#12 Utah Utes (-8, O/U 47) at Baylor Bears [11am, ESPN]
Troy Trojans at #15 Kansas State Wildcats (-16.5, O/U 51) [11am, FS1]
Delaware State Hornets at Army Black Knights [11am, CBSSN]
Holy Cross Crusaders at Boston College Eagles [11am, ACCNX]
James Madison Dukes (-7, O/U 40) at Virginia Cavaliers [11am, ESPNU]
South Carolina State Bulldogs at Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets [12pm, ACCNX]
New Hampshire Wildcats at Central Michigan Chippewas [12:30pm, ESPN+]

{UEFA} Ukraine vs. England [11am, FS2]
{UEFA} Andorra vs. Belarus [11am, Fox Soccer Plus]

Watch That

Nebraska Cornhuskers at #22 Colorado Buffaloes

11am | FOX | Colorado -3 | O/U 59.5

Purdue Boilermakers at Virginia Tech Hokies

11am | ESPN2 | VT -3 | O/U 46

There’s an article to be written on Holy Cross-Boston College—paging AlmaOtter!—that includes how the nightclub BC players usually frequented after games burned down in 1942, and they would’ve been in it...except they’d lost to Holy Cross. Maybe Bill Simmons already did a podcast about it.

Speaking of those petty rivalries, I’m genuinely curious to see what happens in Nebraska-Colorado—does the old rivalry get the proper shrift? Does it turn into the Deion Sanders Show, with a rivalry also played? Can FOX balance those two out?

Then I’ll flip over to Purdue-VaTech because goldamn is it fun to watch those engineers punch themselves in the crotch for a couple hours.


Good morning! Only the occasional UEFA qualifier, so no soccer to hide behind today. You’re watching...

This poll is closed

  • 46%
    Big XII football ft. Deion Sanders
    (67 votes)
  • 21%
    Engineers punching themselves in the crotch, football edition
    (31 votes)
  • 17%
    My Big Ten team is playing at this time
    (25 votes)
  • 2%
    Notre Dame-NC State
    (3 votes)
  • 5%
    Actually, I’ll stick with soccer
    (8 votes)
  • 7%
    Engineers punching themselves in the crotch, weird fetish I have edition
    (11 votes)
145 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Afternoon
Don’t Watch This

Eastern Illinois Panthers at Bowling Green Falcons [1pm, ESPN+]
Charleston Southern Buccaneers at #25 Clemson Tigers [1:15pm, ACCN]
Eastern Kentucky Colonels at Kentucky Wildcats [2pm, SECN+]
Southern Utah Thunderbirds at BYU Cougars [2:30pm, ESPN+]
UNLV Rebels at Michigan Wolverines (-36.5, O/U 58) [2:30pm, CBS]
#23 Texas A&M Aggies (-4.5, O/U 51) at Miami Fluoride Hurricanes [2:30pm, ABC]
Richmond Spiders at Michigan State Spartans [2:30pm, BTN]
UTEP Miners (-1.5, O/U 38.5) [2:30pm, BTN]
Western Michigan Broncos at Syracuse Orange (-23.5, O/U 56.5) [2:30pm, ACCNX]
Wagner Seahawks at Navy Midshipmen [2:30pm, CBSSN]
Puppy Bowl: Southern Illinois Salukis at Northern Illinois Huskies [2:30pm, ESPN+]
Texas Southern Tigers at Toledo Rockets [2:30pm, ESPN+]
Kent State Golden Flashes at Arkansas Razorbacks (-38, O/U 57) [3pm, SECN]
Marshall Thundering Herd (-3, O/U 44) at East Carolina Pirates [3pm, ESPNU]
Cal Poly Mustangs at San Jose State Spartans [3pm, MWN]
Portland State Vikings at Wyoming Cowboys [3pm, MWN]
Tulsa Golden Hurricane at #8 Washington Huskies (-34, O/U 65) [4pm, Pac-12]
Austin Peay Governors at #9 Tennessee Volunteers [4pm, SECN+]
SE Louisiana Lions at South Alabama Jaguars [4pm, ESPN+]
Appalachian State Mountaineers at #17 North Carolina Tar Heels (-18, O/U 58) [4:15pm, ACCN]

{Friendly} Germany vs. Japan [1:45pm, FS2]
{Friendly} USMNT vs. Uzbekistan [4:30pm, TUDN and probably some pay streaming service]

Watch That

#20 Ole Miss Rebels at #24 Tulane Green Wave

2:30pm | ESPN2 | Ole Miss -7 | O/U 67

Texas State Bobcats at UTSA Roadrunners

2:30pm | ESPN+ | UTSA -13 | O/U 65.5

Miami Hydroxide Redhawks at UMass Minutemen

2:30pm | ESPN+ | M(OH) -7 | O/U 44

Please, your families called me. They’re begging you not to watch.

Iowa Hawkeyes at Iowa State Cyclones

2:30pm | FOX | Iowa -4 | O/U 36.5

Each of these, point-by-point:

  • Ole Miss-Tulane should be actual fun. I don’t think the Green Wave are for real, but imagine this like the Indiana-Cincinnati game of 2021—the Green Wave will throw their punches, and in the end Ole Miss will win.
  • Texas State-UTSA features one team that beat a Big XII team and one team that almost did, and it’s not the one you think. The Bobcats knocked off Baylor up in Waco, while the Roadrunners put the scare in Houston—just some dumb, wide-open fun, I hope.
  • Miami Hydroxide-UMass is like a more talented version of UTEP-Northwestern. I’m going to go drink myself to sleep now.

Oh, and as for ¡El Assico!

I truly hope some of you play this and report back on Tuesday afternoon when you finally sober up. Also the differing fonts here just SCREAM ¡El Assico!


What would you like to do here? Decision time:

This poll is closed

  • 14%
    Ole Miss, Tulane, and a whole bunch of dumb shit
    (20 votes)
  • 2%
    Texas State, UTSA, and a whole lot of points
    (4 votes)
  • 1%
    Miami, UMass, and two teams gritting their way to bowl eligibility
    (2 votes)
  • 12%
    My Big Ten team is playing at this time
    (17 votes)
  • 5%
    The Puppy Bowl
    (7 votes)
  • 63%
    ...please tell my family I love them
    (87 votes)
137 votes total Vote Now

Saturday Evening
Don’t Watch This

SMU Cocaine Ponies at #18 Oklahoma Sooners (-15.5, O/U 68.5) [5pm, ESPN+]
Lafayette Leopards at #21 Duke Blue Devils [5pm, ACCNX]
New Mexico State (+10, O/U 53) [5pm, ESPN+]
Duquesne Dukes at West Virginia Mountaineers [5pm, ESPN+]
UAB Blazers at Georgia Southern Eagles (-7.5, O/U 60.5) [5pm, ESPN+]
Louisiana Ragin’ Cajuns (-6, O/U 51.5) at Old Dominion Monarchs [5pm, ESPN+]
Morgan State Bears at Akron Zips [5pm, ESPN+]
Fordham Rams at Buffalo Bulls [5pm, ESPN+]
North Texas Mean Green (-12.5, O/U 52) at FIU Sunblazers [5:30pm, ESPN+]
#11 Texas Longhorns at #3 Alabama Crimson Tide (-7, O/U 54.5) [6pm, ESPN]
Jacksonville State Gamecocks at Coastal Carolina Chanticleers (-13, O/U 60.5) [6pm, ESPN+]
UConn Huskies at Georgia State Panthers (-3, O/U 54.5) [6pm, ESPN+]
Northwestern State Demons at Louisiana Tech Bulldogs [6pm, ESPN+]
Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders at Missouri Tigers (-20.5, O/U 48) [6pm, SECN+]
Houston Christian Huskies at Western Kentucky Hilltoppers [6pm, ESPN+]
UCF Citronauts (-3.5, O/U 60) at Boise State Broncos [6pm, FS1]
Houston Cougars (-10, O/U 52.5) at Rice Owls [6pm, NFLN]
Florida A&M Rattlers at USF Brahman Bulls [6pm, ESPN+]
PAINT BUCKET BOWL: Memphis Tigers (-21.5, O/U 58) at Arkansas State Red Wolves [6pm, ESPN+]
Idaho Vandals at Nevada Wolf Pack [6pm, MWN]
Grambling Tigers at #14 LSU Tigers [6:30pm, SECN]
McNeese Cowboys at Florida Gators [6:30pm, ESPNU]
Charlotte 49ers at Maryland Terrapins (-24.5, O/U 51.5) [6:30pm, NBC???]
Eastern Michigan Eagles at Minnesota Golden Gophers (-20.5, O/U 48) [6:30pm, BTN]
Temple Owls at Rutgers Scarlet Knights (-9, O/U 44) [6:30pm, BTN]
Furman Paladins at South Carolina Gamecocks [6:30pm, SECN+]
UCLA Bruins (-14.5, O/U 48.5) at San Diego State Aztecs [6:30pm, CBS]
Air Force Falcons (-14, O/U 37.5) at Sam Houston Bearkats [7pm, CBSSN]
Nicholls Colonels at TCU Horned Frogs [7pm, ESPN+]
Lamar Cardinals at UL Monroe Warhawks [7pm, ESPN+]
Tennessee Tech Golden Eagles at New Mexico Lobos [7pm, MWN]
Idaho State Bengals at Utah State Aggies [7pm, MWN]
Southern Miss Golden Eagles at #4 Florida State Seminoles (-31, O/U 53) [7:30pm, ACCN]

Watch That

Cincinnati Bearcats at Pitt Panthers

5:30pm | The CW!!!!!!! | Pitt -7 | O/U 45.5

#13 Oregon Ducks at Texas Tech Red Raiders

6pm | FOX | Oregon -6.5 | O/U 69

#19 wisconsin badgers at Washington State Cougars

6:30pm | ABC | wisconsin -6 | O/U 58.5

Arizona Wildcats at Mississippi State Bulldogs

6:30pm | SECN | Clanga -9 | O/U 61

Some REAL greasy action here in the evening slot, with a few lines and tidbits I’d like to call to your attention:

  • In the Paint Bucket Bowl—which I’ve previously explored ways of attending for under $200—Memphis is a three-score favorite at Arkansas State.
  • Yes, the Mean Green are 12-point road favorites at moribund Florida International. That’s a sneaky pick in my book for “lots of points, who knows who wins”. It will now end 12-11, won on a last-second field goal in a monsoon.
  • Houston only getting 10 points as they head three miles west to Rice Stadium. If you ever want to feel alone in a large space, go to Rice Stadium. There’s no one there. To think it used to fill up...
  • I don’t think Minnesota covers 20.5 against Chris Creighton, but I’m really manifesting him to come to Northwestern.

You should watch Cincinnati at Pitt, first because the River City Rivalry and the Paddlewheel Trophy are the assy kinds of things we need in life, but EVEN MORE SO because it’s being played following a re-run of Smallville on the CW. The dramatic Season 5 ending of Gilmore Girls to follow.



This poll is closed

  • 9%
    Paddlewheel Trophies and Supernatural re-runs
    (12 votes)
  • 4%
    Quacka-Tortilla and the points
    (6 votes)
  • 19%
    CHEESE BOWL: Colby Jack vs. Cougar Gold
    (24 votes)
  • 5%
    ...wait, Arizona going to Mississippi State? The hell?
    (7 votes)
  • 41%
    My Big Ten is playing at this time
    (52 votes)
  • 14%
    (18 votes)
  • 4%
    Something else on that list
    (5 votes)
124 votes total Vote Now

It’s late and I’m drunk...
Don’t Watch This

UC Davis Aggies at #16 Oregon State Beavers [8pm, Pac-12]
Eastern Washington Eagles at Fresno State Bulldogs [8pm, MWN]
Montana Grizzlies at Utah Tech Trailblazers [8pm, ESPN+]
Texas A&M Commerce Lions at Sacramento State BEEEEEES [9pm, ESPN+]
Stanford Cardinal at #6 USC Trojans (-29, O/U 69.5) [9:30pm, ESPN]

{Friendly} Mexico vs. Australia [9pm, TUDN/Univision]
{USL} Colorado Springs vs. San Antonio [8pm, ESPN+]
{USL} Orange County SC vs. El Paso Lokomotiv [9pm, ESPN+]
{USL} Las Vegas Lights vs. Oakland Roots [9:30pm, ESPN+]

Watch That

Auburn Tigers at California Golden Bears

9:30pm | ESPN | Auburn -6.5 | O/U 53.5

Oklahoma State Cowboys at Arizona State Sun Devils

9:30pm | FS1 | OKSt -3.5 | O/U 56.5

Albany Great Danes at Hawai’i Rainbow Warriors

10:59pm | Team1Sports (mobile only, not desktop)

I can’t pick between a Cal team that might be better than advertised and Okie Lite coming out for some gunslinging under the lights in Arizona. Flip between ‘em—either one of those games should be great.

But I miss the early, Wild West days of FuboTV.

Don’t get me wrong, my television providers allows me to watch Turkish and Mexican soccer, Australian Rules Football, African Cup of Nations qualifiers, and the European padel tennis circuit. I love it to death.

But for football, it’s kind of hit the mainstream.

In those early days, when Stadium still offered a true streaming network and Eleven Sports was more than an alleged website where I still periodically watch Lithuanian soccer at 10am on weekdays when I’m avoiding work, they also would show random college football games. In the mood for a grainy feed of Charlotte-FIU, played in a monsoon and streamed on Stadium? We got it! Want to watch Laney College (Oakland, CA) on a Saturday night at 10:30pm on Eleven? SURE!

Big streaming has not just killed college football conferences, it’s killed my joy of finding random games that have no business being on any kind of TV, all because I’m paying $10 less than YouTubeTV and $100 less than satellite.

Now, instead, I have to watch the Twins and Wolves and Wild.

Or Northwestern-Rutgers, on national TV.


It’s late! I’m drunk! What’s on?

This poll is closed

  • 23%
    (26 votes)
  • 19%
    Okie Lite-Arizona State
    (22 votes)
  • 5%
    Albany-Hawai’i on my phone helllll yeah
    (6 votes)
  • 5%
    Something else
    (6 votes)
  • 4%
    Whatever the bar has on
    (5 votes)
  • 41%
    lol i passed out hours ago
    (46 votes)
111 votes total Vote Now

Enjoy the games (and a spud or two), everyone.