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Citrus Bowl Preview: Iowa! Tennessee! Offense?

We’ve done this before, haven’t we?

Absent a lot of availability, we’ve just decided to stack some random Hawkeye fans’ thoughts on the Citrus Bowl. That’s about as much time as Tennessee’s star players are putting in and probably more thought than Brian Ferentz puts into his offense.

MNW: We also don’t have any intrepid reporters at this game—so far that’s been enough to get snarky subtweets from the Iowa beat writers toward a writer who’s not there because he had a recent mental health crisis.

You keep doing you, Doc and Hlas and whomever else. Carry that water for Kirk’n’Brian!

#17 Iowa Hawkeyes vs. #21 Tennessee Volunteers

Citrus Bowl: Camping World Stadium (Orlando, FL)
12pm | ABC | Tennesee -5.5 | O/U 35.5

Creighton: Mark my words, Brian Ferentz’s swan song is not going to end in any other fashion except that of a sad, dry whimper of a fart. There is no rabbit to be pulled out of a hat, no ace up his sleeve. There are no plays he’s been sitting on. Iowa is starting Deacon Hill because fuck you, that’s why. Iowa is either going to lose this game 44-0 or win it 11-6 because of some bullshit that Phil Parker pulled off.

Let me tell you how my last week has been: I had food poisoning for 3 days, most of which were spent unconscious except for when I had to wake up to run to the bathroom to [redacted for the reader’s benefit]. After that I spent 2 days having a bad allergic reaction to something (I think it was cats) and again barely conscious as I was pounding Benadryl and hiding from the Hat Man. Currently I am 12-ish (I don’t know how to properly calculate an entire bottle of prosecco) drinks deep on New Years Eve and putting a screaming 4 year old to sleep for the second time tonight. I would happily do all of that a second time if it meant I didn’t have to watch the football game tomorrow.

As you’re reading this it will be Brian Ferentz’s final day employed by this football program (and hopefully the last time Deacon Hill will take a snap for this team). Let’s just get through today and enjoy the 9 or so months where we get to delude ourselves into thinking next season will be any different. Fuck the local media for running cover for Kirk Ferentz to pull this shit for the last 7 years (and for bullying bloggers they don’t like), fuck Gary Barta for going along with it, and Fuck Brian Ferentz in general.

Prediction: Tennessee 44, Iowa 0.

Stewmonkey13: As this is a game involving Iowa, it will be exceedingly stupid, no way around that. Will this be a slow developing blowout like the B1G Championship game? I kinda doubt it. Tennessee just isn’t as good as Michigan.

So then how the hell does Iowa score points?

Same way they do every game, Pinky. Turnovers!

And as Tennessee is going to be starting a true freshman at QB who isn’t exactly known for accuracy, I think there will be opportunities for the excellent Iowa secondary.

Will that be enough? Eh, probably not. But it might be!

gospelofmax: i’ll be on an airplane and i am not upset that i’ll miss the game

MdHawkeye: Most of Tennessee’s team will not be playing. Iowa will suck on offense. It will be an awful snoozefest.

Xarin: It’ll be dumb and nobody truly knows in what way it’ll be dumb but it’ll most likely be dumb in a normal Iowa Way.

Poll

Pick:

This poll is closed

  • 43%
    Iowa
    (19 votes)
  • 56%
    Tennessee
    (25 votes)
44 votes total Vote Now