Burgers: Jucy Lucy's
WhiteSpeedReceiver: Like a good offense is packed full of surprises while having consistent ingredients, the jucy lucy is a burger with its toppings stuffed inside and then cooked. What would be stuffed into a burger served around your school? Minnesota brought in Jay Johnson from Louisiana-Lafayette and brings with him something that resembles an offense, as opposed to a scheme designed to limit the number of opportunities opposing teams had. I've long believed that going at teams in the B1G west at anything above a plodding tempo is a questionable coaching decision, that pounding away at teams and occasionally mixing in play action the way to go, and Limegrover and Kill just didn't have the right formula. How many points a game do you need to win a game? And will Minnesota be able to do that consistently in 2016?
Townie: In the three worst losses last year, the Gophers gave up 48, 40, and 32 points to Nebraska, Iowa, and Wisconsin, respectively. That means you've got to either step up your defense or (to your question) be able to go uptempo and score points.
In the 13 games last season, you put up an average of 22.5 points. That's not enough to win the west without a lights out defense.
What Minnesota needs...and what the great teams all have...is a legitimate offensive threat. A wide receiver or a returner or a running back that has the potential to break one for a big gain or a long touch down.
Pounding away at teams will win you some games, but if it comes down to a shootout, you have to be able to compete.
C4B: If you truly embrace the ground and pound offense, and bring a stout defense with it, somewhere in the 28-31 range should win you a lot of games. That said, I'm not convinced you're going to have either of those right away, so the safe answer is "Break 35 a lot" and that should do quite well for you.
Burger stuffed with copious amounts of alcohol.
Al NamiasIV: The great thing about winning games in the B1G West is you don't have to score that many points to win. 30 PPG, which would have been good enough for 58th in the country last year, should be good enough to beat most teams, provided you don't have Indiana's defense. In the West, defense and playing in the margins tends to win games (at least within the division).
As to the second part of the question, the Gophers have a returning senior quarterback who will be in Gopherland for what seems like his 48th season, some good young running backs, and probably a better offensive system under Tracy Claeys. However, no, Minnesota won't score 30 PPG this season, but they will improve over last year's 22.5. I'll guess the Gophers score about 26 PPG, good enough to be better than Purdue and middle-of-the-pack in the B1G.
LPW: I'm not sure the Gophers have a good enough offense to score more than 25 points a game. Leidner aside, who's going to step up at RB? How's that new-look line going to play out?
In Lincoln Park? Hmm, the Yowza Burger at RJ Grunts is very damn good, or even better, get trashed and get a char broiled Cheddar Burger at the Wiener's Circle late at night... You will have to swear profusely at the wait staff to get your burger, or other things...
Stew: I generally agree with C4B that approaching 30 ppg for a slower tempo team means winning a lot of games. But no, the underground dwelling, shit rodents (oh hey, look at that, it's almost as if MN and WI are indistinguishable) won't be able to do that. Because they are horrible.
At Iowa? Bacon, and more bacon, maybe some ham, too. Oh, and definitely some pulled pork, and a tenderloin.
Speth: Mitch Leidner is significantly worse than noted garbage QB/Teddy Bridgewater clipboard holder Joel Stave (related- I'm pretty sure Stave signed with the Vikings just to troll Minnesota fans some more. I fully approve). Mitch Leidner couldn't lead an offense in an intramural league to 30 points a game. Mitch Leidner is Minnesota's best offensive weapon. Minnesota fans, youregonnahaveabadtime.jpeg
GF3: You need more points than the other team, consistently. Talking about offense in absence of the defense doesn't give us much perspective. Offensive scheme changeovers are hard and often bear little fruit in year one unless the personnel magically fall into place. I wouldn't bet on that at Minnesota. 35 points a game would easily get you to 7 or 8 wins. You're going to realistically see 24 per game, so the defense had better step up in a big way.
MNW: I second GF3--you need one more point, dumbass.
...oh, you wanted a serious answer? Leidner was, I was surprised to learn, 4th in the B1G in pass attempts (407), 4th in completions (242), and 6th in completion percentage (59.5%), but 9th in passing efficiency (121.2). [Notably, Minnesota and Wisconsin were nearly identical in several passing metrics. So there's that -- Mitch Leidner is basically Noted Garbage QB Joel Stave, which I guess isn't the worst thing in the world? It's pretty shitty, though.]
Smith and Brooks should make a great backfield, but what I like most is that Jay Johnson is talking about putting Leidner in the pistol and shotgun more, while still keeping the jet sweeps and straight-ahead running. Plodding tempo is just fine by me for Minnesota's offense, but it has to work -- Wisconsin and Northwestern (by my memory) just said "fuck you," put people up on the line, and dared Leidner to beat them through the air. Leidner's a fine QB, but when he's staring down the barrel of 3rd-and-long situations because a jet sweep and an RB dive got snuffed out, that's a problem. A little more variety and maybe something more resembling a power spread could go a long way in Minneapolis.
A Kobe beef patty, with some brie and duck confit. Saute in privilege and have a DePaul grad serve it to you on a silver platter. [LPW: go borrow Vaudvillain's Butler, if he's sobered up]
Andrew Kraszewski: Stuff my burger with #DISRESPEKT
Jesse Collins: The Nebraska stuffed burger starts with nothing but the finest in locally sourced ingredients. So beef. We choose to go to other states like California and Florida to find enhancements to the recipe that really take it up a notch.